On Tuesday, January 3rd things began to change for us in a big way. I was nursing Adeleigh. It was morning and the boys had just gotten up. I had spent the early morning with the baby downstairs because her sleeping patterns were all messed up. I had fallen asleep with her on the love seat. I woke up a little groggy and achy after having spent 3 hours curled up on a two-seater. Like I do most mornings, I nursed her half awake. The boys had come down to play with their video games they got for Christmas. Adeleigh was exhibiting some odd behavior while nursing. Must say that most moms know that newborns do strange things and so this being the case at the time I brushed it off and went off with my day.
Irony #1. Later that morning I talked with my brother Fletcher on Skype. I rarely speak with him because he's the oldest brother. Twelve years in age and our own lives separate us. I was so excited to give him a video tour of our house, show him the rainy weather outside, and just talk about Ryan's job and our lives. He asked me about where we have been in Indonesia and where we plan on going. We had a great trip to Bali and looked forward to going to Jogyakarta in March and so on. We were also excited about the prospects of going to Italy as it was on our next bid list. We were to get the bid list in just a week or so. The fact of doing a hardship post put us in good position to go to a post of our liking not to mention Ryan already spoke Italian from his mission in Sicily. Italy? Hello. The rest of the day as usual. The boys running from friends house to friends house despite the downpour outside. The last week of 3 weeks of holiday break and kids at home beginning to crawl up my backside.
Wednesday morning came and I spent it over at my friend Cherilyn's house watching the return of the Republican primary in Iowa on CNN. I sat watching the battle between Santorum and Romney jockey back and forth, watching the kids play next to us, listening to Cherilyn and Katie analyze Santorum's ability to defeat Barack Obama, and nursing Adeleigh. Multitasking of course. Again, strange things were happening with Adeleigh. Every eight seconds or so her body would flex and release. This time I could see tears fall from her eyes. This carried on for about four or five minutes. Okay . . . . this is weird and I'm going to have to watch to see if it happens again. It did later that evening. Ryan had just gotten home after going to dinner with a colleague and I had just finished nursing her. She was bringing her knees into her chest, her arms flung out to her sides like she was startled, and all the while she was alert and even perplexed at what she was doing herself. Ryan and I watched curiously, startled, and even on the brink of freaking out. Ryan picked her up full of concern. Usually, as it is with most men, Ryan brushes stuff off and says it will be okay. This time it was different. There was quite the measure of concern in his voice that startled me. He mentioned Tourette's and the wheels in my head started to churn and not to mention my heart. My heart was racing. I began to pace the floor holding Adeleigh fraught with worry. I began to surf the net about involuntary movements in infants. For those who have surfed the net for medical information know how vast and even hopeless it can be to get answers. A lot of it being quite dreadful to read. Ryan told me to calm down, that there was nothing we could do at the moment, and would go see the doctors at the embassy in the morning. Did I sleep? Not very good.
Thursday morning comes and it happens again shortly after nursing. Luckily, I had the presence of mind to use the video function on my phone and taped her strange movements. Something I had read online the previous night about recording these actions had elicited itself at the right moment. As I sat and watched it I could see the tears in her eyes again. Looking in closer I saw how her eyes rolled up slightly and glazed over for just a second. I stopped the recording just as the words "Oh sh-" began to fall from my lips. I picked her up and ran downstairs to find Ryan. He had just left. She wasn't stopping. No matter what I did to hold her, engage her, talk to her these little jerks wouldn't stop. They didn't look like seizures. They looked like hiccups or like the falling or startled reflex that newborns exhibit quite a bit. She did that a lot. She was easily startled. I called the embassy and got ready to leave.
The docs at the embassy watched the video out of my presence. They didn't know what it was, or they just said they didn't know. Spastic was the word floating around, not seizures. They did the typical six month work-up on her and she was totally normal. She was meeting all her benchmarks. They would have to consult with the RMO in Singapore as the chief medical officer in Jakarta was away at another post. I raced home and email the clip to the docs. I wait. . . . . . and wait all the while try to go on with my day. The nurses were reassuring by trying to assuage my fears that it could be just a fluke thing and that she will outgrow it. I get an email that evening from the RMO in Singapore that used terms like benign infantile epilepsy and "not your typical seizure". The word epilepsy is scary in and of itself. More emails from med started to flow in telling me to prepare for medical evacuation because there isn't a pediatric neurologist in Jakarta. If not in Jakarta then the whole of Indonesia as well. I would have to wait till morning to get word on when I leave with Adeleigh.
All this time, this Thursday the 5th of January, Yuni goes about her day cleaning up and then holding Adeleigh in the afternoon when she finishes her work. She had just fed the baby her solids. Adeleigh was beginning to eat rice and apples. Tears were flowing from me and that shocked the pants right off of Yuni. Yuni, who adores Adeleigh, began to worry too.
Eating on Saturday, January 7th
Friday was another waiting day. I talked with my sisters Mona and Heather, both nurses, and my mother. Calls from church members began to flow in as I talked to a few people about my impending trip. Concern over the boys welfare was tempered by the fact that school would start on Monday and that Yuni was there to help. We have fabulous neighbors with ever-watchful eyes. I felt extreme comfort that so many people, angels in my eyes, surrounded us. My boys would be safe and my husband would be fed despite my absence. My house would be clean when I returned. Yuni is a godsend. The benefits of cheap Indonesian labor. Word came and I would have to bide the weekend and should be able to leave Monday, maybe Tuesday.
Sorry . . . . to be continued again. I need to rest and eat, and so does Adeleigh.
